Now Listening To

For the romantically savvy

I dug this volume out of my enormous CD shelf. I don't quite remember when I bought this. This CD is a two disc volume that contains selections of romantic music played by an accompaniment between a saxophone and piano.

The list of songs includes
My Heart Will Go On
The Way You Look Tonight
Amazed
Lady In Red

Love, Chemistry, Part 2

The Point System
Mentioned previously, matching personalities is not always enough to bring two people into a romantic relationship. For a relationship to happen, both persons have to perform actions also. And really, it's the little things that count. It's really about showing that you are like-able person, and showing that the other person means a little more to you than just a friend.

Again: People should not base relationships off of a point system. Rather, the point system is to generally quantify how people might grow to be more attractive in another's eyes. And remember, never fake your personality.

Let's give an example. If Bob owns a cute little stuffed animal, and Jane sees it, she might be inclined to think that Bob is just a little more cute. Bob has just earned about 10 points in Jane's eyes. However Bob's guy friends might think Bob is strange for owning a stuffed animal. However, Bob might gain 50 friend admiration points when that stuffed animal contributes to a relationship between Bob and Jane.

So how does the point system explain relationships?
These are the commandments
1. Every little thing you do, every action, portrays something about your character.
2. As mentioned by the wave system, different people appreciate different character traits.
2. It's not about faking your character. It's about letting that person you like know what kind of a person you really are. And hopefully, that person will be interested in a person like you. And if not, then they're not the one.
4. And remember, never actually base any relationship off of how many points they have earned in your eyes. The point system is just to compare certain actions to others and how they might have something to say about your character.

Remember, different people appreciate different things.
But here is a sample point system for an arbitrary person.
The Friend Range
1-10 points: You own items that the other person might be interested in, say a guitar or a stuffed animal or a CD to their favorite band. You might
11-30 points: You say or do something that the other person finds to be charming or funny. For example, singing a love song at the top of your lungs. Though relationships should be about what's on the inside, let's face it, most of us do take looks to be at least a factor. Looking good in the other person's eyes might be worth a few points.
31-50 points: You constantly help that person you like. You are there to lend a helping hand when they are in need.
The More than a Friend Range
51-60 points: You go out of your way to help the other person, at least enough that they start noticing that you don't always go out of your way for other people. Usually, this is enough to make at least one person in the friend relationship start thinking about a possibility of romance.
61-80 points: Both of you can spend time together and have a decent conversation. Both people might have similar interests, or their personalities might compliment each other very well. Take caution though, because one person might consider the relationship to be a best friend relationship at this point. How do you avert such a thing? Show them that you care for them differently from other friends. And remember to keep your actions consistent. IF you like someone, don't just have one decent hangout every week and all of the sudden stop the next week. FOLLOW UP.
81-100 points: You both start spending considerable time together. When you are hanging out with a group of friends. You and that other person are often seen together, you two might even separate from the group. If the relationship doesn't seem to be a possibility at this point, then in most probability, it's not going to happen.

If the relationship is a possibility, it might be time to pop the relationship question. Find a suitable location and time, build up your confidence, and go. One of the saddest things that can happen is that the other person is awaiting the relationship question but you never mustered up the courage to actually ask. In that case, hopefully the other person doesn't just give up on you.

All of the actions in the point system contribute to revealing each other's personalities and interests, and thus compatibility within the wave system.

And remember
Love is like a symphony

In a symphony, there are many possible melodies and harmonies. Some notes make harmonious chords with other notes. Other notes make harsh chords with the same notes.

In the same way, some people will click with certain people. And they might not click with others.

If you want a successful relationship. Portray yourself accurately. Be true to your character. It's alright to change your personality if you really want to change for that one special person. But it should never be a front. Never be two-faced.

The more you do to portray yourself accurately and show that you care about the other person, you will earn more points towards being in tune with the other person.

Wish you luck in forming your relationships.

Love, Chemistry, and Waves

Okay kiddos, time for a lesson in relationship chemistry!!!

It's easy.
There are two systems, know them well:

1. Point System
2. Wave system

Together these theories of romantic attraction work together in harmony, utterly inseparable.

So let's begin.


The Wave System
There are different types of people. Let's face it, there are different women and there are different men. And they all appreciate different things about a romantic interest. The wave system is a reference to frequencies of waves on a musical scale. These frequencies are called notes. There are an infinite number of frequencies ( types of people ). So the person you are interested in might be solely described by one category of notes, or they might fit into several categories.

Types of women/types of notes:
A These women like the godly man. Godly men show a genuine heartfelt commitment to Jesus Christ, their Lord and Savior. These men walk steadfastly in the Word. These men truly understand God's love and thus are more capable to love their significant others.
B These women love the cute guys. They like the guys who portray themselves as sensitive and adorable; the guys who can show a softer side, such as listening to romantic music, or guys who own and love a cute little adorable pet. They do not appreciate rough, callous behavior in a man they are looking to date. In addition, these women might appreciate artsy guys (guys can play a musical instrument like guitar, sing, or draw beautiful pictures).
C These women like the good-looking guys. They don't know why, but they are drawn to the men who are beautiful--the ones who can shoot a look at a woman and instantly make that woman's heart jump. Of course, different women think different men are good looking. And then there are those few and lucky men that can make any woman's heart flutter.
D These women like the soothsayers. You have to be able to make women laugh. Make them smile. Say something that warms their hearts. Say something that is cute. You have to be able to tickle their ears. NOW DON'T USE YOUR TALENTS TO LIE TO THEM.
E These women like mature gentlemen. Mature men never say any stupid boyish things. Mature men don't play pranks. Mature men open doors for women. Mature men always place the lady first. How do you be mature? Act like a gentleman and not like a boy.
F These women like confident man. Such men show that they are always in control of the situation. These men never panic--in fact, these men offer a strong but gentle arm to grab onto in times of fear and danger. In addition, confident men are often humble because they are secure about their masculinity. Confident men rarely feel a subconscious need to boost their egos.
G These women like the dangerous man. Dangerous men are often daring men. These men may ride motorcycles, or may do some extreme sport. Some women like these men because these men are from worlds different from where the women come from. And the difference breeds curiosity and a desire to tame the dangerous man.

Of course, you may change the noun "women" to men and the men noun to "women". These descriptions are applicable to both sexes.

Love is like a symphony
I.e. Love is like a complicated musical chord. The woman you are interested in might be looking for several of these characteristics at once. And she might value certain characteristics above others. How do you know? Well, you must find out for yourself.

But like musical notes, to have a reciprocating romantic interest between two people, they must be in tune.
Out of Tune
Two personalities just might not match. The waves are out of sync and they have destructive interference with each other. Thus the people will not fall in love with each other or ever consider it.
Almost in Tune
The two people are doing somethings that might attract the other person. One person might satisfy some things that the other is looking for in a relationship. Both persons might satisfy some things. However, not being fully in tune. One person might not entirely satisfy what the other person is looking for. Thus two situations might arise. The first is that both persons will have a crush on each other, or will have considered a relationship at some point. The other is that Bob thinks Jane is a wonderful person and has a crush on her but Jane doesn't reciprocate the feelings because Bob is only in tune enough to be a friend, not a boyfriend.In Tune
When two people are in tune, they both greatly satisfy what each other is looking for in a relationship. They are both ideal in each other's eyes. Thus, they are in tune with each other. When two people are in tune, the path to a relationship is opened.


However, simply having compatible personalities and tastes isn't always enough to make that in tune romantic relationship happen. Often, you have to have action too. By action, I mean doing things like buying flowers, calling the other person, and singing romantic songs. Action by itself is not enough to win you a girlfriend. It must be in unison with being in tune. Next time, I will explain how action might win you "points" in the other persons eyes, helping to bring you in tune with the other.

Of course, I hope that no one actually bases relationships off of a point system. Rather, the point system is simply an attempt to generally quantify what actions serve to strengthen the possibility of a romantic relationship and what actions weaken the possibility of a romantic relationship.

Till next time folks.

Tunnel Vision

So I was talking today about how sometimes we're so concentrated that we have tunnel vision. Such as when we're taking an important test or doing some sort of sports. Like if you're running then you'll just see the finish line and thats all. At least until you get to the finish.
So I was wondering and asked, "Do you ever get tunnel vision when you see a girl?"